We fear change because it takes us away from our comfort and familiar surroundings. However, it is in these moments that we often find the greatest opportunity for self-discovery and personal development.
Fear, apprehension, and resistance are natural human responses to change, especially those that come unexpectedly. Sometimes changes force us to leave the things we are used to and even the things we love. It can be painful and it takes a long time to realize that we cannot move forward without change. It is an opportunity to take matters into your own hands and actively shape your destiny.
Change is encoded in us
According to Jonathan Rauch’s research in the Happiness Curve, change is something that is hardwired into us as a part of life. As Rauch writes, with growing age, the meaning and purpose of our being, our role in society changes. Let’s not try to get around it.
The ability to adapt and accept change is evolutionarily encoded in each of us. It helps us grow, look at the world from a different perspective, discover a reserve of strength and a hidden potential that we may not have known before. Clarify what really matters in life and be a better version of yourself. That’s why we don’t have to be afraid of changes.
Difference between change and transformation
«The change is mostly visible and happens more externally — we change our hairstyle, lose weight, gain weight. However, transformation only works if the primary motivations come from within. Something important is ending and we don’t know what will happen next. Patience and presence are recommended here,» explains consultant and well-being coach Zuzana Reľovská, adding that the change that happens in certain essential phases of our lives is transformational.
According to the coach, it is similar to when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly or grapes into wine, it cannot be accelerated. «The difference between change and transformation is in its character, robustness and contribution. While in a change we have an idea of what should happen at the end, we can plan it and somehow manage it, this is not the case in a transformation. In it, we somehow know that something important must end and make room for something new, which is gradually being created,» adds Reľovská.
Transformation is a complex and often painful process, which is associated with many feelings of guilt, fear, loss of energy and meaning. Motivation is lost and black thoughts come next. Moreover, it is all the more demanding because, unlike change, we cannot see the end of the imaginary tunnel. We have no idea what our next step will be and whether it will hit the ground or remain suspended in the air.
What about the experts?
According to the psychiatrist and philosopher Abraham Maslow, during the transformation, for example, in middle age, we turn our attention to ourselves and our real needs. We discover who we are and what we want. Achieving seemingly important milestones in life is replaced by the need to grow as a person, to realize one’s full potential.
According to psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, this is a developmental stage in which we feel a strong need to leave a mark. We seek a sense of meaning in selflessly contributing to the betterment of the world around us.
According to psychotherapist Carl Jung, transformation is an essential part of the process of individuation, i.e. a natural transition to the second half of life, where the conscious and unconscious gradually unite into a new «I».
