Simple strategies to connect with others and advance your career. Overcoming the fear of networking requires small shifts in perspective and concrete actions that drive your professional goals.
Is it normal to feel uncomfortable when networking?
Yes, it’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable with the networking process . For many people, this is often one of the least enjoyable parts of job searching. If you don’t like it, or even dread it, you’re not alone. Many job seekers say they feel intimidated, anxious, or overwhelmed by the idea of putting themselves out there and connecting with others.
Why do some professionals find networking so uncomfortable ? While the reasons may vary, many people shy away from it because they fear rejection, which can be difficult to deal with while also dealing with the rejections that come with a job search. Another common reason is that networking is a new experience for many, so they are simply not used to the process.
However, since networking is so critical in today’s job search, it’s important to learn how to manage difficult emotions that may arise so they don’t affect your chances of landing a new position. Here are five strategies to overcome your fear of networking.
1. Reframe your perspective.
For starters, it can be helpful to change the way you view networking . Instead of seeing it as cold contact with strangers who aren’t likely to respond, think of it as an opportunity to build meaningful connections with other people, including those you already know. Also, recognize that you probably have a broader and deeper existing network than you imagined that you can draw on. Some good starting points for networking include:
- Your current and previous jobs.
- The places where you spend your free time, such as the gym, your church, mosque, or your children’s school.
- The organizations where you volunteer.
- The universities, certification programs, or coding bootcamps you participated in.
2. Be clear about your goal when networking.
Next, it’s important to be clear about why you’re networking , as your goals will determine who you contact, the questions you ask them, and the information you share in your conversations. Setting a clear goal can make the process of approaching people much less intimidating, because you’ll know exactly why you’re reaching out to them. For example:
- Are you interested in learning about the culture of a company you would like to work for in the future?
- Do you want to learn about their experience completing a certification you are considering?
- Perhaps you want to exchange industry best practices?
Plus, people you’re not very close with are often more willing to help you with a small request, like answering a question or two about their experience, before committing to something bigger, like recommending you for a position or introducing you to their hiring manager.
3. Bet on your communication style.
As you delve into networking , it’s critical to create a strategy that suits your communication style and preferences. While some professionals enjoy attending in-person meetings and conferences, these can be unnecessarily stressful for more introverted people. So it’s helpful to ask yourself if there are other ways that allow you to connect in a less intimidating way.
For example, if you’re already active on platforms like LinkedIn , X (formerly Twitter ), Reddit , or other social media, you might want to think about how to best leverage those communities to achieve your networking goals. This could include asking an industry peer specific questions via private message or inviting them to a Zoom meeting to deepen the connection beyond the platform.
4. Start slowly.
Since networking can be intimidating, especially if you’re an introvert or have social anxiety, you can set yourself up for success by starting with small steps. Some simple actions you can take include:
- Contact a colleague from another area with whom you don’t speak much to organize a virtual chat.
- Send a message to a former colleague or boss to catch up.
- Write to a LinkedIn connection who has shared a helpful post and start a conversation.
As you can see, networking doesn’t have to be complicated or overly formal. The goal is to build connections that support your professional goals.
5. Develop a daily practice.
Once you feel comfortable cultivating your existing relationships, it’s important to get organized and develop a process that’s easy to repeat. If you’re a tech executive with a busy schedule, you might want to set aside a specific time for networking, either in the morning while you’re checking email and social media, or in the evening when you’re more relaxed.
Some professionals set aside 10 or 15 minutes a day to reach out to one or two people in their network. Others prefer to set aside a larger block each week, such as 45 minutes or an hour on a Friday afternoon, to catch up with their contacts and build new relationships.
It doesn’t matter how you structure your networking routine, the key is to maintain consistency in caring for your connections, rather than waiting until you need them to communicate.
Networking professionally can be easy.
While the phrase “professional networking” can make many professionals nervous, the process doesn’t have to be stressful. Shifting your perspective, setting clear goals for your conversations that align with your communication style, and developing a daily practice can make networking more accessible—and even a little fun. You can do it!
